What does it mean to find yourself?

The above image comes from a small cafe in a small town and pokes fun at those of us who talk about “finding ourselves.” People like me who stay small for years trying to figure out what the Rules are and what the Right thing to do is.

After a decade of psychoanalysis, which in effect is a specialized type of inner work geared to finding yourself that my memoir to be published in October is about, I am still able to see the bumper-sticker cuteness of this sign but have developed what I hope is a deeper understanding of the truth of Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.

I seriously doubt I will be successful in describing clearly and articulately my new understanding but I hope these words help you integrate a new awareness, an awareness that took me years (because I am unusually stubborn) to develop. In making this attempt, I will try my best to live up to the badge I received in the mail from Marcy:

Explaining what finding yourself means is not the easiest thing to do but I will, as I said, try. I will keep going on this quest to discover how to articulate what it means to find yourself.

The next sentence is a mouthful and you may be tempted to rush through it or even abandon the effort to continue but I want you to be able to say when you come to the end of it, I kept going!

A person who is trying to find themselves moves from using an authoritative position that relies on certainty and morality to deal with their conflicting inner feelings towards a position where they are attuned to their evolving feelings which help them enjoy life to a greater extent and be in touch with vulnerability on occasions when it connects them with others.

Does that begin to explain the inner work of finding yourself? Have there been periods of time in your life that you felt the need to “find” yourself? What was that like? How did you go about doing it and were you glad that you did? Please scroll down and leave your message letting me know what you think & feel!