This post is for anyone who has ever wondered about meditation.
I have been meditating for several years – I try to meditate every day, but it doesn’t always happen.
I go in spells – meditating every day and thinking that I always will or forgetting to meditate for days or weeks at a time.
Lots of people sit cross-legged on a cushion when they meditate but my hips won’t allow that. I kneel on a wooden meditation bench. For twenty minutes, I try to pay attention to my in-breath and my out-breath. That’s all there is to it. If thoughts come, and they most certainly will because that’s the mind’s job to keep thinking, I bring my attention back to the breath. I am training my mind.
Earlier this week while I was meditating trying to pay attention to my breath, I became aware that while my in-breath had some energy to it, my exhale didn’t. It was like I forgot about the exhalation and only concentrated on the inhale.
In Freudian psychoanalysis, which most of you know I have written about and continue to write about, I learned how to reflect on events in a psychoanalytic way. While contemplating my new awareness that I wasn’t paying much attention to the out-breath, it came to me that I was not very good at letting go.
Metaphorically it is like I take in stuff but then forget about dealing with it.
Examples: Collecting books, not reading them. Amassing so many types of tea that I don’t know which one to steep. Stocking up on bottles of essential oils and forgetting to use them. Squirreling away blank notebooks just in case I might need them. You get the picture.
Since I became aware of differences in my breathing, I can’t say that I have actually changed anything major, but I am more aware of when I don’t breathe out fully. When I do focus on the out-breath, I feel richness and warmth in my body. I feel more grounded and stable. I’m always just a little bit surprised at how good it feels.
What have you noticed about your breathing? I’d love to know!