You Gotta Have Attachments! – #152

“The need for attachment never lessens,” writes Bessel Van Der Kolk, in one of my favorite new books: The Body Keeps the Score (2014).

In our daily lives, we watch people attach to others through work, friendships, and family. Humans cannot tolerate being disengaged from others for very long. Of course this varies depending on the person’s attachment style.

Bessel* writes that people who cannot bond with others, in the ordinary ways listed above, find other ways: illnesses, lawsuits, or family feuds. He continues: “Anything is preferable to that godforsaken sense of irrelevance and alienation.”.

This is not permission to blame people who exhibit these less than optimal strategies. Remember, people don’t choose these strategies consciously. 

Life is challenging when you enjoy positive attachments; think what it would be like to be lonely.  As we move into the spring season, people come out of their winter hibernation. Greet each person you meet with kindness and compassion.

As for the camels, I’ve decided that once in awhile I’ll use an image I love but that doesn’t necessarily reference the post. The challenge is for you to make a connection – then let me know. We will create meaning together! Keep me posted on your view of attachments and remember if you are riding a camel, be attached!

Thanks for continuing to explore the mystery of attachments – 
                                                               Nicky Mendenhall



*I take the liberty of using Van Der Kolk’s first name after hearing his personable presentation for NICABM