In 1908, Sigmund Freud wrote the classic paper,”Creative Writers and Day-dreaming.”
If you are making small talk with the neighbors and there’s an awkward pause that needs filled, throw in the only sentence of Freud’s paper that I underlined:
“Actually, we can never give anything up; we only exchange one thing for another.”
I’ve been thinking about this statement all week. Is it true we can never give anything up?
It feels to me the old farm house I grew up in was given up when the decision was made to burn it down to clear the land. I would love to set foot in it again but I have to give up that dream. I don’t know if that’s the kind of thing Freud was talking about or not.
Can think of anything that you gave up without exchanging it for something else, please let me know.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall
4 comments
I'm terrible at giving things up. I literally have to stand there, shake my hands and repeat, "let it go". I have given up some worries that way. Without immediately replacing them with new worries.
At least you have a method of letting go!
Thanks for sharing it with us.
When your family farmhouse was removed, that was not something you gave up. It was taken from you. Your parents made the decision. They gave it up and exchanged it for additional farm land. You had no choice.
I think to give something up has to be a voluntary decision one makes. You choose to do that over another option — you do it for a reason. The reason is the thing that you are exchanging the given thing for. If you aren't choosing, it is a taken thing, not a given thing.
If I choose to give away books, I do it in exchange for extra space. If I choose to give someone a birthday gift, I do it in exchange for their knowledge that I care about them (it's the thought that counts). If I chose to give money to renew my drivers license, I do it in exchange for not getting a ticket. (One could say that's not a choice but it is).
Very good points you make!
I made some of those same points but kept coming back in my thoughts to giving up the house I grew up in.
As I was thinking about your reply, it became suddenly clear what I am giving up – Giving up my wish that something could be different. Letting go of my wish to be in the house again. REally letting it go. Admitting to self that this will not happen, this cannot happen. I suddenly felt free from that yearning. I let go of the desire to be in that house again. Feels different to me.
I don't know if that's what Freud is meaning – but it feels right to me.
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