“The moment we cry in a film is not when things are sad but when they turn out to be more beautiful than we expected them to be.”*
When I blink back a single tear or when multiple tears overflow and anoint my face, something beautiful has happened and I am surprised.
Many times my tears materialize when leaving a loved one. I remember the first time I ripped myself away from Jonah, my CA grandson. He was two years old. My heart ached as his cute little fingers waved to me. I loved the beautiful relationship we had developed and knew we would soon be separated by many miles.
In Iowa, when I walk on fertile Marshall County dirt, former site of the family farm, tears come & my heart aches for all the beautiful and sad things that happened when we lived on this land. “1526” (see image above) is all that remains of two farmhouses and two sets of farm buildings.
The Welsh word hiraeth** means “distance pain.” Sally Mann hopes the evocative word will be preserved. She defines hiraeth as a yearning for the lost places of the past; the pain of loving a place.
She feels a near-umbilical attachment to the South – especially VA. I feel a near-umbilical attachment to Central Iowa.
And strange as it may seem, I feel a similar pain about India. When Iowa air is humid and has a tropical scent, my mind flies to India. Remembering the sparkling eyes of the people and the vibrant colors. The temples. The cows. Strangely, I felt so at home there. I feel distance pain.
Do you have an umbilical attachment to a place or a person? Please reply to this email or comment on the blog.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall
*Alain de Botton quote. One of those times when I jotted words down, was too lazy to include the source, and could never locate again. If you run across it, let me know!
**Hold Still:A Memoir with Photographs (2015), Sally Mann. I love this book. Borrowed from the Urbandale Library and am having a hard time not ordering my own copy. The pictures are fascinating, her family out of the ordinary, and her writing full of insight.
2 comments
I LOVED this and not just because I’m family. My distance pain is for Africa. I went to Africa with no expectations and fell totally in love while I was there. I’m trying to remember when I first started traveling overseas how I felt about the countries. I remember loving all Greek things for a while as it felt like Greece was the first truly “foreign” country I visited after working in England. I remember loving New Zealand, too. And at one time I wanted to retire in Germany. So I guess I’ll see how long my distance pain for Africa lasts. But one thing I know for sure is that I will always have hiraeth for Iowa.
I think you make a good point – the strength of hiraeth may not last forever but, I would argue that it is not true hiraeth unless the pain in your heart lasts for at least a couple of decades.
Thanks for a wonderful comment!
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