David Richo* writes that our fears are often, at base, fears of not having control. He presents a long list of annoyances and writes that underlying every one of them is the belief that we should be in control of everything at all times.
Here’s a short selection:
We want to be different from the way we are.
We want others to be different.
We want someone to call back or visit.
We cannot get rid of the ants or roaches once and for all.
We cannot keep the weight off or the blood pressure down.
We have feelings, moods, and habits that we do not like.
We do not sleep as well as we want to.
We feel compelled to anticipate all possibilities.
Our parents, children, partners, or friends do not act as we want them to.
To me, the list could be used as a list for what causes disappointment!
Are disappointment and control related? Let me know what you think!
Thanks for exploring the mystery of disappointment and control –
Nicky Mendenhall
*David Richo, The Five Things We Cannot Change (2005).