I remember as a child being told to stop crying because there was nothing to cry about. Being disappointed wasn’t acceptable.
As an adult, I visited my Mother in the hospital during her cancer treatment. It was an especially difficult day and she was crying at times, not her usual beautiful-bright-eyed self. Neighbors arrived to offer support.
I remember feeling sad and disappointed when my Dad insisted Mom smile at her visitors.
Staying with my disappointment led to anger. The anger validated my growing inner knowing that as a child and young adult, I wasn’t met on an emotional level. I was ridiculed for having feelings.
After feeling and honoring my anger, the anger began to dissipate (this is what feelings do when attended to). Building a bridge of compassion for my Father’s position was the next step.
Dad was disappointed his long-time companion was not her usual self. I wish he could have used his disappointment to connect with his sadness. This would have allowed him to be with her on an intimate emotional level.
I can’t help but think that Mom would have felt supported in a deeper way if we all had stayed with our sense of disappointment.
Instead of ignoring disappointment, what would happen if we really paid attention when it was present? Perhaps we might discern which disappointments would lead us to feelings of anger or of grief that need attention.
Disappointment: Can you let it be a bridge to your emotions?
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments section or hit reply and email me your response.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall