“I’m amazed by what I managed not to see.”
I ran across this line when reading The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa. Pessoa was born in Lisbon in 1888, died there in 1935, and did not often leave the city as an adult.
Writing in Portuguese, he wrote in notebooks, on loose sheets, on the backs of letters, advertisements and handbills, on stationery from the firms he worked on and from the cafes he frequented, on envelopes, on paper scraps, and in the margins of his own earlier text.
To compound the confusion, he wrote under dozens of names, a practice- or compulsion – that began in his childhood.
Pessoa referred to the many names under which he wrote prose and poetry as “heteronyms” rather than as pseudonyms, since they were not merely false names but belonged to invented others, to fictional writers with points of view and literary styles that were different from Pessoa’s. Personally I find that amazing and thank Mason for introducing me to this fascinating man!
Here’s another line from Pessoa:
“I marvel at all that I was and that I now see I’m not.”
After we finish our investigation of the shadow, we may say similar things.
What have you have managed not to see?
Do you think of yourself differently than you used to?
As always, you are invited to share your reactions in the comment section or hit reply and send me an email.
Thanks for being part of this community exploring the mystery –
Nicky Mendenhall
6 comments
Hi Nicky,
It's Connie Taylor. I really enjoy these posts, and I find something interesting to think about or challenge myself with each week.
I had a little laugh to myself when I read the sentence, "Do you think of yourself differently than you used to?" Ummmm….YES! And that is with great thanks to you and the things I learned during our time together. I still hear things in my head we talked about and refer back to them when I need to give myself a little good advice or direction. And, as a side note, some of my younger friends think I'm so wise when they want a little advice! 🙂
Thanks for these posts, Nicky, and for keeping us all challenging ourselves…
Connie
Connie –
Your younger friends are lucky to have a mentor who challenges herself and keeps growing personally. What a great example you provide for them.
Thanks for checking in and reminding us that, with effort and patience, we can keep evolving.
Best Wishes,
Nicky
Oh Mr. Pessoa, we love you.
I like the post and I really appreciate your continued request for participation in the blog through comments.
I don't feel too comfortable with the idea that Pessoa created the heteronyms out of compulsion. This is because it seems clear that he was intentionally opening up the possibilities of identity.
Love,
Meison
Mason – can you tell me more?
There is a whole school of literary theory and criticism that looks to the author, their biography and creates links back to their creation, often creating a psychological interpretation of the writing and I think it does a grave disservice to literature. Good writing stands on its own!
Thanks Mason. I have the fantasy that when your comment is published we could start a discussion with people about this issue. I remember when I was a docent our teacher Lenore said basically what you said – do not psychologize the work. Being a therapist, I find it difficult to see how the work can be separate from the biography. I want to understand but I don’t completely. When I think about graphic designers or architects it seems clearer to me that their work may be separate from their personal life. But other artists it doesn't seem as clear to me.
I imagine that the fantasy dialogue would likely be between you and me but others might chime in if given the chance. Don’t know.
What do you think?
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