Listening to Self

The first time I listened to Nicky Mendenhall being interviewed on Angel Talk podcast with Rachel Corpus, I couldn’t sit still. I was nervous. It had been several weeks since we recorded this episode, and I couldn’t remember what I had said, and I wondered how I would sound.  While I listened, I practiced Tai Chi Chih moves.

The second time I listened to this interview, I was less anxious and had pencil in hand to capture anything Rachel said that surprised me. The first thing I wrote down: “Nicky listened to her intuition.”

I did? When did I do that I wondered? This inquiry was the beginning of another interview, this time conducted by myself. When had I listened to my intuition? Here’s how I answered:

 “Let me think for a moment. Hmm, the first intuition she’s speaking of must have been the gigantic intuitive sense I experienced in 2007. The one that informed me there was more to life than I was experiencing and that I needed help if I wanted more. This was the intuition that landed me in Freudian psychoanalysis.

“And the second intuition she could have been referring to was one I paid attention to for many years. This intuition told me that no matter how difficult the analytic process became, it was exactly what I needed.”

Rachel probably picked up on both of these intuitions.

But as an Angel Communicator, she gave them a different name.

She called them the “still small voice.”

This tickled me as it fit right into the second memoir I am currently writing which will explore what I learned in a year-long termination from psychoanalysis.

What did I learn?

When I listened to myself, I learned how the secular and the sacred co-exist.