I’ve begun to notice that when I have a physical malady, it’s not long before I catastrophize.
Case in point: I woke up on Saturday to what I have named vertigo. I’m questioning my self-diagnosis: maybe it’s just dizziness. Calling it vertigo or dizziness doesn’t stop me from thinking my life is doomed. I see grabbing onto furniture to navigate the room as my destiny. I despair of ever being self-sufficient again.
After my usual Tuesday walk on the nature trail followed by twenty-two minutes of stretching and weightlifting, I noticed that my left knee hurt. Oh NO, I thought. I will never walk again! Selecting two ice packs from the freezer, I lay down in bed to apply them. Next, I rubbed salve on the affected area that is supposed to help. I complained to my husband, using a voice that could win an Academy Award for drama, “My knee hurts when I walk.” All the while internally I’m thinking, I’m doomed. I take to my bed.
This morning I woke up and my knee didn’t hurt in the same way. Now my calf on the side feels tight. My left foot feels compromised. I don’t know exactly how to explain that. But somehow I feel better. I’m still walking anyway. I’m not dizzy any more.
This morning I wrote in my journal: “Many times, an injury doesn’t last forever. Everything changes. We get injured. Sometimes it heals and sometimes it doesn’t. At times we get dizzy and other times we don’t.”
You’ll be happy to know I calmed down (Wendell is!) and I will send this off to you with a question: When you have an injury or troubling situation, how do you deal with your mind when it heads toward catastrophizing? Please let me know by responding to this email or posting a comment on my website nickymendenhall.com
IMAGE: The Guardian prepares for winter.
