Writing my second memoir has, up until now, gone pretty smoothly. Sure there were struggles along the way, but I was eager. I had lots of energy for the work. I told myself while I was so enthusiastic, the times when it seemed fun and rewarding and satisfying to write that it would not last. That there would difficult times, but to be honest, I sort of didn’t believe it. I mean I felt so good and it was going so well.
Then I got to revising the messy middle. Chapter 8. Nothing fell into place. I felt discouraged and felt like it was not working no matter how many times I rearranged the paragraphs or changed words. My book coach was on holiday for several weeks and we didn’t have our regular meeting. I was near despair.
My book coach is Barbara Boyd and I love working with her. When she finally got back and we got together on Zoom, I was whiney. She asked me good questions about what was going on and I told her that I was discouraged.
She told me how restorative her break had been and wondered if I needed a break. Part of me thought that perhaps I did but another part wanted to get Chapter 8 figured out. We talked for about a half-hour. She asked what do you want to do for the rest of the session?
“Let’s look at Chapter 8,” I heard myself say. So that’s what we did. As we talked about the meaning of the Chapter title, Inner Shaman, and how memoir is not just writing about what happened but rather what it means, I felt my energy coming back. At the end of the session, I felt completely different.
I needed help and she provided a fresh view and support. Do you have an issue that you need help with? I would encourage you to ask for help – if you are feeling overwhelmed by the current conditions, talk to someone and share your feelings. Is it easy or hard to ask for connection when you need help?
I know that most of you are not writing books but if you ever decide to and want a book coach, email Barbara: [email protected].
IMAGE: This sales clerk helped me find a warm coat before I froze to death, Greece in 2009. I remember how safe it felt to put my arm around her – I wonder if I will ever feel that type of freedom again?
2 comments
That messy middle!!! If only we could skip that part!
Asking for help is so hard for so many but I always try to live by the saying “It takes a village.” None of us are alone–or don’t have to be anyway. We’re all here to help each other on the journey.
Hi Diane,
You make me think that I should appreciate the middle of books more when they continue to engross me and know how much the author must have struggled.
Love your point about how we don’t need to be alone!
Thanks for checking in – much appreciated!
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