I woke up this morning to a message from Nadeya who lives in Adelaide, South Australia. We’ve been friends since we met at a shamanic retreat in New Zealand 2018 and I admired the bold purple streak in her hair. Here’s most of her message:
“Dear Nicky,
I devoured your book in two days.
What a courageous, strong and wonderful being you are, for your honesty and vulnerability while facing the challenges of psychotherapy for all those years and also the challenges your body went through. You have given me the courage to be as I am and continue to search, not so much for who I am but how I can evolve – in face of family/friends who think I’m self-indulgent. Next time they make a comment to this effect or that I’m too overwhelming, I will just say “Thank you”.
I’m telling everyone about your book and buying another copy for Sophia’s library – https://www.sophia.org.au/. This is my other home away from home.
Sending lots of love and brilliant light,
Nadeya”
I quickly visited Sophia’s Library @ the address above and found out it is the only feminist public library in South Australia. When you visit you can listen to the poem Essence, and sink into the present moment.
I scrolled through the books in the Library and found three that will assist me as I begin the research for my second memoir.
I love hearing from people who have read my memoir and who find ways to use what I learned in their own lives. This is the ultimate reward. And I can’t wait to scroll through Sophia’s listing and see my memoir. What a great Thanksgiving gift.
And to make this post a true representation of how life works I will tell you of another message I received, this time in the form of a text requesting a phone call. Initially, I was a bit suspicious as recently had received a similar message on Messenger from my aunt who asked me to call, and when I called, found out that she had not written to me.
But this was a real text from a friend in Tennessee wanting me to call so she could tell me that Jeanne Williams, our mutual friend & one of the people who read my book and gave feedback as I was writing it, had died the night before Thanksgiving of ovarian cancer. I was speechless. I had just spoken with her on October 5. Jeanne was always so alive and believed in me before I believed in myself.
As I sat on my meditation bench after hearing this news, I felt so sad. I could no longer call Jeanne. Her husband and children must be grieving the loss of her vibrant presence. From somewhere, the message came to me that I could still commune with her essence. I welcomed this thought and decided to savor it. Jeanne wasn’t totally absent. As I wrote in my memoir, sometimes absence can be presence.
My sister Nina, knowing nothing of this, forwarded me a post titled Thanks-Grieving. How perfect I thought. So a Happy Thanks-Giving and a Happy Thanks-Grieving to you all.
How do you hold all the different emotions that life brings and that the holidays exacerbate? Please comment below.
