I’ve noticed that being mindful – being in the moment – is easier when the sun shines.
When a day is windy, cloudy, cold, I feel grouchy.
Why?
My expectations for weather have not been met. I wanted to be outside. I wanted to take a walk.
We prefer our expectations be met.
Giving up expectations is difficult. Mental health professionals would likely blame our egos.
Paradoxically, letting go of my expectations (AKA disappointing my ego or not getting what I want) can set me free.
Finding myself trapped in the house, because walking wouldn’t be pleasant, I realize there is now time to watch another episode of The Good Wife.
How do you handle it when your expectations don’t pan out? Do you rage? Cry? Pout? Swear to never have another expectation? Try to manipulate things so you can have it your way?
I’ve done all those things – please share what do you do in the comments section or email me and I will copy and paste it to the blog unless you request I abstain.
If you are wondering about the image, here’s my line of reasoning: Your meeting was held on the twenty-fifth floor. Meeting over, your expectation is to hop on an elevator and descend to the Lobby. When you read the posted sign and begin to smell smoke, your expectation will be quickly dashed. Giving up this expectation isn’t difficult because holding on to this expectation has the possibility of killing you. Many of us act like our dashed expectations are life or death matters. This causes undue suffering.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall
2 comments
My biggest disappointment when it comes to expectations is my uncertainty as
to what they should be. I have many questions as to what to expect of myself
and where do I go from here. Some issues include – retirement, my family is
grown up, support system is evolving, inability to care for myself could be in the
near future and thoughts of death crepe into my thought’s. I want zest for be
rekindled. But I am tired, lonely, and do not seem to have the energy I once had.
I knew slowing down is to be expected with aging and I had surgery on my foot
two months ago. I will start water therapy tomorrow. I did however manage to
purchase a new swimming, it is a Speedo BUT do not be impressed – however I
am celebrating that I got the swimsuit even though it felt like I was sneaking into
an X-rated bookstore. I was a site for sore eyes! But I hope it will bring me more
confidence and shrink my mojo.
If I do find myself on the top floor of a building and I know it will have that sign
(most elevators are driven by pushing a button with the heat of your finger and
with a fire the elevator would be drawn to the floor where the fire is). If I am able
and there is a fire – I will grab a sheet to cover my mouth to protect me from
the smoke, I try to help others go to the stairway, start to move down the steps
as quickly as possible, and if all else fails I imagine I can bounce down the steps
pretty fast! – Margie
Interesting point regarding the difficulty of deciding what our expectations will be. I didn't think of that angle. At times that can certainly be the case. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Margie.
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