Pondering the shut-my-mouth pledge made MidWeek led to this startling realization:
People don’t ask questions.
People tell stories. People share experiences. People obsess about difficult decisions. People grumble when confronted with local and national news.
If a person is describing something I’ve been through or if I happen to strongly agree or disagree, my compulsion to interrupt their story and tell my story is a temptation comparable to resisting binge watching The Good Wife on my I Pad.
And since we humans all face similar inner and outer experiences, I will undoubtedly relate to what is being said and want to open my mouth.
If I hear people telling, sharing, obsessing, or grumbling, I think they might want my input.
While the sentence in the image at the top of the page may look like a question, if you look closely you will note there is no question mark.
The next time someone talks to me, I’m going to listen for the question mark.
How do you decide when it is helpful to share your story? Do you ask questions? Do you have someone to listen to you? When do you open your mouth? Is it hard for you to listen to others?
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall
6 comments
Thanks for this post, Nicky. I do love the question mark!
One of the things I have learned in meditation and through spiritual teachings is the joy of having an open, soft, and receptive mind. One that can actually take in the experience of living moment by moment instead of always being reactive and commenting on everything. I find that when my mind spends more time being receptive, life is richer. I learn and appreciate more. I connect with other people and the world on more of a heart felt level.
So learning to be more quiet and receptive has brought with it big rewards in my life. This has helped me remember to listen more deeply to others when they are speaking.
What a wonderful comment Linda. It would be a joy to have an open, soft, and receptive mind – think of how the world would change if lots of people aspired to cultivating this mind state.
I love that you love the question mark! Do you want me to give you one now?
Hi Nicky,
I agree that many times people don't ask questions….they like to tell their stories, vent, or just be heard. I used to jump in all the time with my very wise – haha – opinions, stories, or advice. Then I realized that I would sometimes get annoyed at others for doing that exact same thing when I was the story-teller, venter, or exasperated person. So now I try to listen, and when the person gets to the end of their story and may look at me in an expectant way, I ask them, "Do you want me to comment, empathize or sympathize, give advice, or just listen?" It really works very well! They usually get what they need, and I don't have to wonder what I should have done or if I didn't let them finish their story before I veered the conversation off in my own direction.
Connie – I love how you say you used to jump in! I admire you so much – despite my good intentions, I still interrupt others sometimes.
Your question to others – do you want anything from me is excellent! Thank you for sharing with me and exploring the mystery readers!
Hi Nicky,
I can't say I've 'enjoyed' your last blogs, but I can say they are meaningful to me! So many times I realize if I had only kept my mouth shut, things would have been better. Sometimes it's so difficult to do! Sometimes I think…I am this old and still this stupid? When will I learn? Anyway, I just wanted you to know you are hitting the mark with me right now and it's good to know I'm not alone in my struggles.
Thanks for your comment – I think we can all relate – at least I can!
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