The first six years of my life, I was the adored only child. Mom outfitted the two of us in black floor-length satin skirts before preparing candlelight dinners to serve my farmer father. Alas, his world view didn’t involve dressing for dinner.
I believed my mother was perfect. The oceanic closeness we shared fulfilled all my needs.
Then four siblings crashed the party.
At age six, I lost only child status in the real world. My primitive brain, however, didn’t lose “only child” programming. Primitive brains guard patterns for decades so true to form, the yearning for oceanic closeness and a feeling of being special has been part of my life.
This desire made its home in the root cellar of my Shadow.
Now instead of rooting around aimlessly in my shadow, I choose to retrain my brain! When the familiar yearning to be special makes itself known, I remember its origin. My conscious adult self (or we could say my neocortex) calculates the limitations of oceanic closeness and celebrates the joys of separateness.
It is difficult and painful to muck about in in our shadow and redecorate our own self. We much prefer pasting our wallpaper on someone else.
What can you learn from an exploration of your Shadow? Please share with us in the comment section.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall