When Mom was alive, she would call with news of “who died”. It wasn’t pleasant to hear about people dying. Death seemed far away. The calls about distant relatives or her high school friends, were really annoying. Wondering why she had to be so focused on death, I’m sure she could hear the annoyance in my voice.
I am beginning to understand that she was sharing grief with me. She was probably inviting me to grieve with her.
Last week I learned that two neighbors, who had lived on nearby farms while I was growing up, died. Almost immediately after learning of these deaths, I felt like calling someone,
While I was puzzling why my urge to share this news was so strong, my weekly email from Companioning the Dying: Opening Fully To Living, arrived in my inbox. Here’s what it said:
“My life span is ever-decreasing. The human life span is ever-decreasing; each breath brings us closer to death. Holding this thought in mind, I delve deeply into this truth.”
Perhaps the urge to tell someone “who died” is really about coming to terms with the fact that our own life span is decreasing. It is a way of facing the truth of life that includes death.
I wish I could apologize to my mother for being short with her when she called to report “who died”. Now I would be gentle and figure that she was preparing for her own death. Maybe she was trying to help me recognize that death is a part of life.
What do you feel when you learn someone has died? Do you feel the need to tell someone or do would you rather keep quiet? What does it feel like to think of your life span decreasing? Do you think about death often?
Please share your thoughts by emailing or going to blog comment section.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall
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5:00 AM (14 hours ago)
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| April 22, 2016. | ||||