As I attempt to publish comments in the comment section of exploring the mystery, Google keeps asking me to prove that I am not a robot. How irritating is that?
I’ll answer my own question: Pretty darn irritating.
Last week I asked you for help deciphering Rilke’s last line (Post #133). Later it occurred to me that in asking that question, I had behaved like a robot.
How was I acting like a robot?
I didn’t make time to contact my inner self (robots don’t have inner selves). Instead I mechanically followed my old pattern of not slowing down.
As a consequence, I was rude to my inner self.
Much to my surprise, I felt angry when your answers to the question arrived in my inbox.
Why were there feelings of anger?
I am always thrilled and affirmed to hear from readers. I feel we are beginning to develop an interactive community here at exploring the mystery. You all amaze me with your wisdom and courage. I love feedback. What was going on?
To discern what the anger was related to required me to slow down. When I felt into the anger, it was clear that my inner self felt cheated – it wasn’t given an opportunity to wrestle with Rilke.
And what was really hard to stomach? I had nobody to blame but myself. It was me who didn’t slow down and give myself time with the last line.
Once again I learn the importance of slowing down.
Is there anything you rush past that results in your inner self feeling neglected? I’d love to know and I won’t be mad! This post helped me understand one of the ways I abandon myself. Sharing with you helped me and I hope if you share with me it will not only help me but help you!
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Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall