Journals from the past are currently spread out on the daybed for easy access. I’m mining each for notes taken after sessions with my analyst. My hope is to discover gemstones that will enrich my memoir describing my experience with her in psychoanalysis.
It has been an experience all its own reading words from the past. My essence permeates all the journals, of course, but some entries puzzle me: Did I really know that so long ago? Why didn’t I know that I knew and trust it?
These days I’m busy working on developing a new chapter for the memoir. Instead of writing a full post for today, here’s a quote I found in a May, 2001, journal:
“The censor, fat as a tick with pride, hates not being taken seriously.”
My brain held no memory of this gem from Leaving a Trace, the book that my scribbling said was where it originated. I just ordered a used copy.
Since meeting the censor frequently occurs when writing, I am eager to read ways to manage encounters with it. The unsolicited advice it gives is often to avoid anything creative or unique. It tends to utter phrases such as, “You can’t say that!” or, “What will people think?”
When the book arrives, I hope to be able to pass on any new tactics for dealing with censors.
Are there things in your life that you want to do but a “Censor” says no? Do you know what activates your censor? What messages do you receive from your censor? Please let me know by going to comment section or replying to this email.
CLUE to exploring mysteries: As you prepare for a new season by organizing your closet, be sure to pass on anything you haven’t worn or don’t like to wear. Someone else needs it and the feeling of generosity will give you a lift. A wise friend reminded me of this recently.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall