“The next time someone asks you a question, don’t answer right away. Receive the question or sharing and let it penetrate you so the speaker feels that he or she has really been listened to.
“Only when we have been able to open space within ourselves can we really help others.
“It is easy to notice if someone has a feeling of spaciousness…..you feel comfortable with them because they are easy and relaxed. They are not already full of their own agenda.”*
Give this a try when you are out and about this weekend. Is it automatic to offer your perspective on any subject? Let us know how difficult it is for you not to answer right away.
Email or visit: www.nickymendenhallwww.nickymendenhall.blogspot.com.blogspot.com by clicking on underlined words, scroll up or down, click on comments and enter your wisdom.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall
*Adapted from The Practitioner’s Quarterly, Winter, 2015, pg 13.
3 comments
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Thanks for this, Nicky. It is a good reminder to take the time to take in LIFE while conversing. I confess that I DO find it hard to remember to do this. But with practice it is becoming easier.
Yesterday I spent an extended period of time in the company of two new friends. One could barely keep themselves from talking quickly and for extended periods of time. The other was a patient listener who had been studying Non Violent Communication. It was interesting to feel the affect each of them had on me.
Although the majority of our conversation resolved around themes we all agreed on, the listener was so much easier for me to appreciate. I also noticed that the listener was able to be more succinct and I was able to relax more into what they were saying. It was a relief not to be on the receiving end of such a large number of words coming quickly and all at once. And the main idea that they were trying to get across stood was easier for me to grasp when the words were fewer and slower..
I spent a lot of time staying consciously grounded in my body awareness and breathing. And I was able to finish the conversation feeling relaxed and refreshed in spite of the intensity of it all.
Linda – I agree – to be on the receiving end of too many words is exhausting. We seldom think of how our behavior is affecting others. Thanks for a clear statement that can slow us down from our hectic rush to respond.
Glad you came away relaxed and refreshed. Thanks for taking the time to let me/us know.
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