Hint, Hint

 During a 1979 Iowa State University social work class, I learned that social workers could be psychotherapists, and there was a whoosh that went through my body that said this was what I wanted to do with my life. This satisfying profession sustained me for 30 years and I was crushed when an illness led me to close my practice. I thought I would never be as fulfilled with work ever again.

But yesterday, after performing as many 27-minute writing sessions as I could cram into the day, I said to my husband, “I love writing.” Despite the challenges, I feel satisfied and happy. Once again, I am doing what I am meant to do and I look forward to settling my butt in the chair.

The reason I mention this is because, for the last few weeks, I have been writing about the struggles of writing and I don’t want you to think I am complaining. Chapter Four needed unrambling, and now that I am reworking Chapter Five, I am feeling discouraged once again. But I am not discouraged to the point of giving up, just feeling a bit stuck after trying to remember exactly how it felt when the pandemic was just beginning.

You, as my reader, may know of my habit of yanking a book from one of my shelves and opening it at random. This time, I asked the book to help me figure out how to go forward. The book was Unbinding by Kathleen Dowling Singh. My eyes landed on a sentence that I had previously underlined:  

“We all understand the Great Mystery can only be hinted at.”

Ah-ha! Singh knows how difficult it is to write about the sacred. She says she can only hint at the Great Mystery. No wonder I am stuck.

But if I’m a writer, I need to be able to describe what doesn’t have easy language for. I never gave up on a client who wanted to change. I won’t give up on Chapter 5.  

Does it make sense to you that the Great Mystery can only be hinted at?

IMAGE: Some of you probably have never seen me with brown hair! This photo was taken after I graduated from ISU, in May 1980 which makes it the time period mentioned in the first paragraph.