I texted my friend asking her if she wanted a ride to the party on Sunday. Pushing the little green arrow that sent my offer to her, I felt brave and generous.
She responded:
“Yes, and that would be great! Or if you’d rather I drive, I can? I know you’re not crazy about driving (made your offer very special!), but I love to drive. What time should I collect you?”
I was surprised at how relieved I felt by her offer and immediately texted back: “You talked me into it.”
Instantly I began to second-guess myself. Shouldn’t I drive so I can follow through and bolster the bravery I was feeling when I asked her? I really don’t feel as afraid of driving as in the past. With enough experience, maybe magically, I’ll like to drive and set off across the country behind the wheel like my younger sisters.
I made a counter-offer to drive over to her house so we can both leave from there. She didn’t answer right away, We began to speak of other things, neither of us overly concerned with who was going to drive.
Now I’ve had time to ponder my feelings and ask myself questions. I realize that I am reluctant to ask her for help and worry that I might be asking too much. Is it okay to let my friend take care of me? At what age is it okay for me to decide I don’t like driving? What part of me says I should love driving? What part of me says I need to be able to do everything? What if she thinks I’m taking advantage of her? Sometimes I feel there are rules of conduct in friendships that I wasn’t told.
All of these questions and feelings are rich. I’ll get back to them.
Let me ask you, do you ever struggle with questions like these?
Image: Another view from the back deck, this time looking to the right.
