Anxiety has a complicated relationship with Space.
When we pause and breathe, we give ourselves access to life- giving Space. In this type of Space the physical manifestations of anxiety will decrease automatically. Our muscles and nervous system will be released from the tension endemic of anxiety.
When we take several deep slow breaths, our monkey mind’s chatter will begin to decrease. People who meditate commonly refer to the mind as the monkey mind to describe the difficulty of focusing on the breath when meditating – if you’ve ever seen a monkey or tried to concentrate on something – you can understand the reference.
For many of us, finding a centered peaceful Space will require more than a few deep breaths.
This is because it won’t take long for the mind to encounter what it perceives as its nemesis: The Space of Not Knowing.
Not Knowing is an ability that we have to learn. I’m going repeat that: Not Knowing is an ability we have to learn. This may take some time to sink in so be patient with your self.
We all realize it takes ability to know. We study to know facts. We talk to people and ask questions to know about life in general. Our entire educational system is based on teaching us how to know.
But what about situations in life where we don’t know or can’t know when we want to know or feel we need to know? What do we do then?
How do we cultivate the ability to manage these types of situations?
A former member of my high school graduating class emails when he learns pertinent information about members of our class. A message from him earlier this week contained the sad news that a class member, Mike, has cancer. The cancer is spreading throughout his body and Mike has asked his family to call hospice; he wants to die at home.
This news puts me in the Space of Not Knowing: Why did Mike get cancer and I didn’t? How much longer will he be alive? Why is there suffering in the world? What happens to him when he dies? What would I do in Mike’s situation?
Of course, the Space of Not Knowing occurs in situations that are not life and death. When we are in times of transition, the list of what we don’t know or can’t predict becomes long. When we are in financial difficulty and we don’t know how we are going to pay the bills is a very stressful place of Not Knowing. When we listen to the world news and wonder what is going to happen next we are in the Space of Not Knowing. Another really hard Space of Not Knowing is when we are grieving as we don’t know when our feelings will ease or even if they will.
How do we stay in whatever Space of Not Knowing we are in without encountering depression, anxiety, or bitterness?
Where are you in a Space of Not Knowing?
Next week we will look at what an ability to handle Not Knowing consists of and how we can develop it.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall
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