Good morning to readers of exploring the mystery.
Since none of you contacted me regarding the offer to borrow my copy of On Kissing, Tickling, and Being Bored, I will risk looking inside it once again. What more does Adam Phillips want to tell us?
Thumbing through Phillips’s book, I stumbled upon a quote attributed to the lyrically intense Austrian poet Rilke: “Except for two short interruptions, I have not pronounced a single word for weeks; at last my solitude has closed in and I am in my work like a pit in its fruit.”
In March of last year, as we all relinquished social obligations, I started to think about writing my second book and have since then, become the seed of myself just like Rilke reported. As Nicola, I have enjoyed being home and writing. The daily rhythm reminds me of long summer days at home on the farm as a kid. It has been peaceful. I do not want it to end.
But now as Nicky is fully vaccinated and many of her friends are also fully vaccinated, she is eager to see family members and dear friends. Nicky cannot wait to play Pepper and laugh and be silly. Nicky wants to go on a car trip and maybe fly to see the ocean.
Luckily, Nicola and Nicky both learned in over a decade of psychoanalysis that having differing feelings like this, feelings Sigmund Freud labeled ambivalent feelings, is a normal part of being human. Both know that they will be transformed, be different, after a year of near solitude. Both are feeling the longing for and the dread of such transformation.
What are you longing for? What are you dreading? Please let me know!