Is Egregious Envy A Change Agent? – #43

Jacob had a self-defeating neurosis.*

Jacob was full of envy for his twin brother Esau.

Feelings of hostility towards others is a characteristic sign of envy. Hostility for others is accompanied by feelings of dissatisfaction with oneself and critical feelings for one’s own accomplishments.   

Last week’s unsolicited phrase,”Jacob wrestling,” is finally coming to fruition. Clinical psychologist Michael Abramsky proposes that when Jacob wrestled and wouldn’t let go until he obtained a blessing, his transformation had begun. 

I have envied poets. I have envied people who can see past the mundane. I have been critical of myself for rushing past non-literal language.

Beginning to embrace poetry and metaphor, my internal landscape becomes saturated with peaceful unknowing. My bossy pants stay in the drawer more often.

This new place is richer and deeper. Ironically, self-trust is one of the necessary but difficult components. Friends who are a bit further down the path and who generously offer to guide the way, another. Quiet time, essential.

What type of transformation are you undergoing as 2012 comes to a close? Who or what are you wrestling?

Be sure to let me know in the comments section that you will find on the blog – click the link at the end of this email.

As always, thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall

*I am indebted to Michael Abramsky for his study of Jacob that influenced the ideas presented in this blog post. “Jacob Wrestles the Angel: A Study in Psychoanalytic Midrash,” by Michael Abramsky. Published by International Journal of Transpersonal Studies, 29(1), 2010, pp. 106-117.