Toddlers have angry feelings when they don’t get what they want.
Adults have angry feelings when they don’t get what they want.
When we witness the intense anger of a child, we tend to forget that lurking in our primitive brain are equally intense feelings of anger.
We lose touch with our intense anger; it is hidden by our persona (persona is the Greek word for mask). Good parents help children develop healthy personas.
We present the persona to the world when we encounter primitive anger. This keeps us safe. The persona contains all the parts of our personalities that will gain approval from others.
On the other hand, the shadow contains characteristics we hide from the world (and ourselves); it is opposite of the persona because the shadow is full of characteristics that would garner disapproval from others.
Our environment determines our persona which then determines what lands in our shadow. We need to guard against being critical of personas others exhibit because if we had been raised in the environment they were, we would likely exhibit similar characteristics.
Today while listening to a 50’s XM station, I heard Debbie Reynolds singing: “Tammy’s in Love.” What a sappy song I thought as I hummed along remembering nearly all the words.
If a parent today helped their daughter design a persona like Tammy’s, the girl would be severely handicapped living in the twenty-first century.
Does your persona need updating?