On April Fools’ Day, I searched for the word disappointment in the index of a book I was reading. Disappointment wasn’t there.
Grabbing another book from my collection, I again looked for the word disappointment in the index. Again disappointment wasn’t there.
What overtook me then was a full blown obsession: an obsession to find the word disappointment in the index of one of my books.
Out of the hundreds of books I own – only ONE book’s index contained the word disappointment.
And what a book it was – probably a best seller in its day – a book I wish I could say I have read and reread from cover to cover over the years:
Outpatient Psychiatry: Diagnosis and Treatment, editor Aaron Lazare, M.D. copyright 1979.
Here is the disappointing sentence from page 57:
“Growing up consists in significant part in accepting disappointment in one’s parents step by painful step.” (Copied exactly from text!)
As you can see in the picture above, it took step by painful step for me to accept my parents weren’t perfect.
For years my fear was of disappointing my parents. My siblings and I agree that we did not want to disappoint our parents. As you are probably deducing, disappointment was a big deal in our family. Undoubtedly, that is behind this whole series on disappointment. I’m learning as I go…..
When did you become disappointed in your parents? Was it painful? Is disappointment a big deal in your life? When was the last time you were disappointed?
And by the way – look in the index of any book you own or have borrowed. Is the word disappointment there? I would love to know if you score a disappointment.
Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall