Welcome to exploring the mystery on this sparkling spring day. In the spirit of transparency, I considered beginning this post with a warning: Don’t read if you are sick of hearing about physical therapy.
But I didn’t and despite hearing the threat, you decided to keep reading. Today you will bear witness to an experience as rich in meaning as any session of psychoanalysis. Who knew that I could learn so much from my body? Physical therapy acts as a translator to decipher body language.
During my last session with the PT, I mentioned how I don’t feel steady or balanced sometimes when I’m walking.
“Do you put your feet down like you mean it?” she asked. This was a new question; one I had never before been asked.
She continued: “The secret of walking is to place your feet firmly on the ground. Putting them firmly on the ground equals being grounded.”
“Okay,” I said inwardly, “I will slap my feet down with more force. I can do that.” I set off walking around the room, trying to practice this. The first few steps felt like I was stomping, a precocious toddler learning to walk. I felt a little silly, slamming my feet down each time I took a step. But very soon I began feeling more solid and balanced.
The PT then offered another bit of wisdom. “When you feel a lack of balance—it probably means you are walking with fairy-feet.” She made patting motions with her hands and repeated the words ‘fairy feet’ a couple more times.
I’m probably guilty of fairy-feet I thought. Then I told her that being raised in the 1950’s and 1960’s, I had been taught to walk like a lady. Her blank facial expression at this disclosure made me want to expound. Clearly she hadn’t been raised a girl in the 1950s or 60’s, so I explained how ladies walked. Gently, quietly, daintily. She tilted her head in such a way it was evident what she believed about those particular descriptions. Her gesture was strengthened by a facial expression portraying a combination of dismay and dismissal.
I stopped walking and talking and stayed still for a few seconds trying to catch what else was going on inside. It felt different from the ‘grief of relief’ feelings I wrote about last week.
I realized my physical therapist knew exactly what I was talking about. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been working so hard to teach me another way of thinking about walking. About making my presence known in the world. About being grounded. Maybe the blank expression I picked up was because she was thinking of a third example, since I was going to need it!
Using a tone I interpreted as curiosity; she asked if I had watched the Iowa Women’s basketball games. When I said yes, she replied:
“Pushing down allows you to go up – think of the women you saw playing basketball – they bear down before they jump up!”
IMAGE: Me preparing to walk on nature trail while remembering all I learned.
