“Admit something:
“Everyone you see, you say to them, ‘Love me.’
Of course you do not do this out loud; otherwise,
someone would call the cops.”*
The Sufi poet Hafiz wrote the above lines, c. 1320 to 1389. His words assure us that the deeply rooted human desire for connection, a desire we often yearn for, is not a new phenomenon.
Perhaps a mystery we could explore is why it is difficult for us to get past surface emotions. Are the cell phone callers in the above image speaking their true feelings (getting to the root of the matter) or sticking with niceties to keep the other happy?
Watch how often you say or do something to prompt the other to affirm you. Sometimes I hear myself asking a question when what I really want is for someone to pay attention to me.
Often my requests for affirmation aren’t coming from my rational mind – they are deeply buried. The primitive brain stores these deep needs for love and connection.
This weekend, pay attention to how you, and most people you encounter, want reassurance. Don’t judge them or yourself, just notice. Respond to their query if you discern a response from you will help them. Try not to patronize. Be kind to yourself.
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Thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall
*Section of Hafiz’s poem, With That Moon Language, used in Spirituality and Practice month-long workshop, 2015.