Last week instead of sending out a post, Wendell and I had a lot of fun getting out of our normal routine to entertain my youngest child Mason and their sweetheart Lisbeth who were visiting from New Mexico. I hadn’t seen either of them since before the pandemic, and while Zoom visits have helped us get through the last three years, I was beyond grateful to be able to see actual eyes and hold hands across the round oak table I inherited from my grandparents.
This week, after our precious time together ended, I have felt stirred up, craving genuine human connection like we had when they were here. That’s part of what brought me here, writing this post to connect with you all!
The first night after they left, when Wendell and I sat down to our evening meal at six pm, I whined, “It’s so dark!” I don’t think it was just the loss of daylight savings time, there was a subtext: “Here we are alone.” Wendell wisely reminded me it won’t always so dark. After December 21, the days will grow longer again.
I don’t recall whether it was dark when I decided it was time to organize my books. My books connect me to the world—especially particular parts of the world I resonate with. You won’t be surprised to know how adamant I am that books about Freud and psychoanalysis should be grouped together.
Shortly after I began sorting, I realized I had a new category on my hands: books on aging that I had purchased to work on my third memoir. I started a pile. There were soon stacks for spirituality, for the enneagram, not to mention volumes on creativity and writing. As soon as I started shuffling books around, I remembered how difficult it had been the last time I undertook this task. Now my seventy-eight year old legs protested even more when I squatted down to work on the bottom shelves.
The more books I pulled out, the more bewildered, lost, and alone I felt. Alone in a crowd of books.
As I mentioned above, books usually help me feel connected, not alone. But I now wished I could share this organizing endeavor with someone. So I asked a friend who usually comes on the weekend to play cards. Would she help me organize my books? I didn’t know if she would want to as I know her relationship with books is different from mine. But what I didn’t know until I asked is that—she LOVES to organize. Because she’ll be in town for lunch with another friend the day before we were scheduled to meet, now she’s coming over two days in a row!
Tonight as it was getting dark, I asked Wendell to go for a walk with our Exerstrider walking poles. It was good being outside. It was good being with him. And I loved thinking that this weekend, we will have even more human connection as we play cards and I continue to organize my books.
