Lydia, my oldest granddaughter, works as an interior designer. Because I’ve seen how seriously she takes her work and the results she’s created for her clients, I asked her to redesign our sunroom to fulfill my dream of napping in the sun. What I wasn’t counting on was how she is helping me redesign how I think about both attention and emotions.
Last Friday, Lydia texted me: “I will be there around 11:30.” This was great news! So then when she called me at 11 and said: “I’m here TT” (that’s her nickname for me), “I’m at your front door!” I was 100% excited since it meant I would get an extra half hour with her.
After coming through the door, after giving me a hug, she looked me in the eyes and said: “I want to thank you for doing what Joey and I are learning to do in parenting class. We are being taught that whenever we greet Sully (my great-grandson) we show how excited and happy we are to see him. You sounded so excited and happy when I called you! You did it for me and it felt so good!”
This impressed me in many ways. First, it told me that she is taking her job seriously as a parent – she and her husband are going to classes on how to parent her child. Just like Lydia had to learn how to make a room beautiful and functional, she decided parenting was worth this effort as well.
Secondly, it tells me she is paying attention to her life in the now. For example, she noticed how her grandmother responded to her. As an added bonus, she was able to express her feelings openly. Telling me what she appreciated added a layer of meaning to my excitement. I didn’t learn about it in a class, I truly was excited to see her. Hearing her say that it felt good made me feel good all over again! The way I was brought up, there was plenty of joy and excitement, but there were also warnings about getting too worked up, too excited. So occasionally I wonder, at the age of 77, am I too kidlike? Too excited? Does my joy indicate that I am not taking things seriously enough? Aren’t there a lot of problems in the world to be feeling so much joy?
Here’s a paradox that may speak to some of you. For Lydia and Joey to take seriously their job as parents, they are instructed to be excited when they greet their child. For some, being serious, working hard can mean adopting a humorless mood. But in this case, working hard means being excited and positive.
When someone is excited to see us – we feel cherished and worthwhile. We all want to have those types of feelings.
Are you present with and show enthusiasm for your loved ones?
IMAGE: The couch where I can take an afternoon nap and feel like I am outdoors.
