I’m ready to dive into a 3-day weekend writing retreat with Laura Davis, which begins–today! While creating my second memoir, Leaving Analysis (stay tuned for pre-orders), I was guided by a structure, so I figured that designing a structure for my next book would be a good use of my time during the retreat. I shared this idea with Laura, and here’s how she answered: “Think of writing as a process of discovery.” What?! I don’t start with a structure? I felt intrigued and terrified and it made me look forward to starting even more.
Still, when I slow down, other misgivings arise.
One inner naysayer wonders if I have the stamina to participate fully in the three days and stay awake until 10:00 PM three nights in a row. Another doubts I have the discipline to stay off social media and not check my email. And still another questions if I am savvy enough to understand and put into practice what I learn. Deep down, another voice says the whole idea of working on a new book is foolish. Shouldn’t I finish one book before starting another?
I stop and listen to these internal naysayers, instead of ignoring them as some self-help books advise. I negotiate with them. Since it was front and center in the handout describing the retreat that a nap between group meetings is acceptable, I take this as permission to rest. I set up a vacation responder on my email (yes!) and decided I will turn off my phone. I remind myself how much I have learned in the past as reassurance that I will be savvy enough to make my investment pay off. As for being foolish, it is possible I may be rushing into a new project for unconscious reasons that I haven’t yet discerned, but if the reasons are important, they will keep surfacing. If the new project is important, I’ll keep at it. If not, I can let it go.
It may seem counter-intuitive to pay attention to our naysayers, but we can bring these unconscious habit patterns to the surface and befriend them. If we negotiate with them using common sense and lavish them with compassion, we bring our whole self to the creative process.
The next time one or more of your naysayers pipes up, listen. I’d love to know what advice your naysayers are offering. How do you manage them?
