For those of you readers who are writers and enjoy witnessing the planting of new book seeds even as the previous one is not quite finished—I’m currently struggling with the Epilogue for second memoir, all the while wondering if the deep hunger to read what other authors are writing about aging means my next project might be related to aging.
Some of the books I have examined on aging explore the aging body or what activities elderly people can safely participate in. I’m not a scientist or physical therapist, so I’m pretty certain I don’t want to write about those things.
Sharon Butala, a writer I mentioned a few weeks ago, goes deeper. She asks questions that my psychoanalytic self tells me are important for us elders to explore: Who am I now? What matters now?
My unconscious, working on my behalf, must be mulling this over because this week, I dreamed I was having an earnest conversation with my former editor, Mary Nilsen. In the dream, I pulled Mary aside for a word in private. When I had her full attention, I whispered in her ear my plan to write a book on aging, confiding that I had discovered something: “I’ve learned that aging has a lot of losses.” She looked at me with affection and burst out laughing. I woke up.
If you have been reading Exploring the Mystery for very long, you know how difficult it is for me to trust my ability to decipher a dream. Determined to figure this dream out, I pulled out Dreams and Spiritual Growth, a book recommended by Trish, my writer friend in New Zealand. Reading on page 144 that dreams are gifts, I began to free associate. Mary laughing in the dream morphed into the picture of Jesus laughing that Mom wanted on her memorial service program. I then remembered how Mom also said that aging is hell.
What does this all mean? To me, it points to the ambiguity around aging which can be something to look forward to and dread. Following this mysterious thread has perhaps brought me closer to my next writing project.
What messages have you received from your elders about aging?
