1st Aid Kit For Surviving Holidays – #49

Since it is true that we only see what we look at – let’s look inside a psychological first aid kit. 

Worksheet A:  First – make a list of every holiday activity or situation between now and January 2, 2013, that you dread. 

Other people’s annoying behavior will likely be a primary focus of your list. Examples: they never contribute their fair share, they are irresponsible and thoughtless, they eat too much or eat too little, they are always late.

Worksheet B: Aid will be readily available to anyone who has a clear understanding of the following point:  There is nothing you can do to change any of this horrendous behavior.

No one will deny how seductive and tempting it is to reform/save/educate the other. Which is to say I need to keep my missionary zeal on a leash, especially until January 2, 2013.

Instead – repeat after me: “Nothing I can do will change the behavior of other people.”

Worksheet C: Realize that none of these behaviors has anything to do with you. 

In other words: Don’t personalize. If you can observe these behaviors from an objective stance, you will be surprised how much easier holiday gatherings will unfold.

Don Miguel Ruiz,* author of The Four Agreements, writes:

“When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.”

Next week, we will find more Aid for the season. Let me know what you need to have happy holidays?

As always, thanks for exploring the mystery – Nicky Mendenhall

*Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, 1997. (page 51)